Lately, I’ve noticed a recurring theme: the use and abuse of pastoral/spiritual authority. It comes up when people share with me stories of how they have been hurt by church leadership. It has also come up in my own reading of the New Testament, especially Paul’s letters.

One key passage is found in Paul’s letter to a slave-owner named Philemon. Paul wants Philemon not only to release his runaway slave Onesimus, but also to regard him as an equal. “If you consider me your partner,” Paul pleads with Philemon, “receive him as you would receive me.”

Besides being an important study on how the Christian faith subverts the culturally-prevalent practice of slavery, this letter reveals how Paul used his authority with Philemon.

Although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus—that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus.

There are at least two things about the use of spiritual authority are worth noting here:

1. Spiritual authority has a legitimate place.

Paul did not say that it would have been wrong for him to command Philemon to accept Onesimus. In fact, by using the words “in Christ,” he is saying that giving a straight-up directive would have been a legitimate use of his authority.

Many people are uneasy with authority, and with good reason: authority is easily abused. All cautions notwithstanding, authority is a good thing, and must be exercised. It plays a crucial role in maintaining order, making decisions, and guiding others. Elsewhere in Paul’s letters, he demonstrates profound self-awareness and a nuanced understanding of his authority. On the one hand, he uses his apostolic authority to command the believers in Corinth to expel someone who had committed incest. He tells another pastor, Titus, to “exhort and rebuke with all authority” (Titus 2:15). And on the other hand, he is reluctant to use this authority unless it is absolutely necessary. In a letter to the Corinthians, Paul urged his readers to change their behavior before he came in person, so that, “when I come I may not have to be severe in my use of the authority that the Lord has given me for building up and not for tearing down” (2 Corinthians 13:10). Paul’s balanced approach reminds us that authority has a legitimate place only when it is used to edify others.

2. Spiritual authority does not always have to be exercised.

But Paul’s use of authority in his letter Philemon reveals another dimension: Paul relinquished his legitimate use of authority so that he could lovingly persuade rather than command. Granted, in some cases it may be hard to discern the boundary between persuasion and authority. But in this case, Paul’s goals and methods are transparent: he appealed to Philemon, not on the basis of his authority (which he could have done), but on the basis of love, so that Philemon’s response would not be motivated, not in response to Paul’s authority, but out of love for Onesimus, and ultimately for Jesus.

Given how easily authority can be misused, pastors and anyone with spiritual influence should carefully study its proper use in Scripture. It is irresponsible to deny that we have authority, and it is foolish to think we must use it in every situation.